Posted by: Amanda | May 27, 2008

Loss

Michael Kenneth Brewer

 December 27, 1947 – May 27, 2008

My uncle died this afternoon, in Long Beach.  

Prayers for my mother and my Uncle Dan and Aunt Jeanne are appreciated as they cope with the loss of their younger brother.  He had been significantly ill for several years.  My mom flies to Long Beach tomorrow morning.  I will support as I can from here.

My uncle lived a hard life much by his own choices, charmed many hearts, felt many sorrows.  He was a staple of the Long Beach scene for many years, known by many.  By his family, he was much loved.

My memories of him are varied, rich, and fairly intense.  

I can smell him the way I did when he would come into the house on woodruff when I was a little girl. (red wine and a spice like incense and the salt air.)  I can feel the fabric of the hats he used to wear.  I can hear the laughter of the women friends he brought home over the years.  I remember the strange sense of awe I had about the question mark tattoo on his ankle and the weird mix of horror and awe when I realized he had been childhood chums with my eighth grade science teacher.  I feel his devotion and terror when he drove with me to get my hours for my drivers permit and I turned down the wrong way on Los Coyotes Diagonal.  I smile at his unease at my womanhood and his discomfort in telling me that Ben and my “public displays of affection” embarrassed him.  My anger rises when I think about fighting with him over Grandma.  My forgiveness flows when I think of how fond he was of Emily and the gifts he has already put in my hands for her to have memories of our family’s past.   Once I thought him a drunk and a drug addict and a fool.  Other times I thought he had an artist’s heart and soul that made him unable to cope with the harshness of the world in his lifetime.  

 But funnily enough, its a line in a movie that brings him to me most of all. Has since the first time I heard it.  Spy kids, “I think we all have an uncle like that”.  Yes we do.  And he was mine.

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. I’m sorry for your family’s loss. Thoughts and prayers…

  2. Thinking of you friend. I’m so sorry for the loss of your uncle. Prayers.

  3. Amanda, I’m so sorry. Mourning can be especially challenging when the relationship is complex. I will pray.


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